nostabbing | 015 | Goldenrod City

[Handwritten | Parker's Notes| Not Posted To Network]
THINGS I WOULD LIKE FOR MY BIRTHDAY

1. Money
2. Unmarked bills with non-sequential serial numbers
3. Loose diamonds
4. Money
5. Gold bars
6. Gold bars are kind of hard to move, though
7. They're heavy and not easily liquidated, also clunky
8. Money

THINGS ALICE WOULD LIKE FOR HER BIRTHDAY

~~1. Vege~~
~~1. World peace~~
1. ...Bunnies?????

THINGS NORMAL PEOPLE LIKE FOR THEIR BIRTHDAYS

~~1. Money~~
1. No bad guys ruining their lives
2. TV...s
3. Stuff they like
4. ?????

THINGS HARDISON WOULD LIKE FOR HIS BIRTHDAY

1. Video games
2. Robots
3. Stolen cell phones
~~4. Can you steal the internet?~~
4. The bank of Iceland
5. Pretzels
6. Doing stuff with me ?

THINGS ELIOT WOULD LIKE FOR HIS BIRTHDAY

1. Cooking
2. People to punch
3. Bad guys to punch
4. Sterling to punch
5. I would like Sterling to punch too

THINGS NATE WOULD LIKE FOR HIS BIRTHDAY

~~1. Alcohol~~
1. Alcohol
2. Forgiveness

THINGS SOPHIE WOULD LIKE FOR HER BIRTHDAY

1. Artwork
2. Diamonds
3. Fancy jewelry
4. Clothes
5. Shoes
6. Shoes should have been #1
7. SO MANY SHOES
8. For Nate to stop being so stupid
9. I bet princesses have a lot of cool stuff though

THINGS ISHIMARU WOULD LIKE FOR HIS BIRTHDAY

1. Justice
2. More of those cool bleach pen thingies
3. Red

~

What do you think makes something a good present? Like a birthday present. You're supposed to give somebody a thing they'd really like, right? And if you don't know what they'd like, you ask them about it and maybe they tell you.

What if they tell you the stuff they like and you don't like it? Because you think it's not a good present or whatever. Does that make it a bad present?

If you're the person being asked what you want for your birthday, are you supposed to not ask for stuff that would make people feel bad about giving it to you?

...Also, why do people give each other presents on Christmas instead of giving them to Jesus? It's not everyone else's birthday on Christmas.

I mean I guess maybe it's some people's but it's not everybody's who gets presents on Christmas.

...And why isn't "Happy Birthday" a Christmas carol, then?

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

... why do they want a dead skunk.

[Why must he be right about these things. WHY.]

Why does it matter? The point is you don't want to give it to them, right?

Who the hell even wants a dead skunk?

[...

Okay, well. Now that Yusuke's thinking about it, Hiei might want a dead skunk. You know, maybe. Yusuke doesn't actually know what kind of things Hiei would want as a gift, but if he had to guess, "dead things" seems like a pretty good bet.

...

Have another text, Parker.]

What kinda dead are we talking here, like... "just-got-run-over-by-a-semi" dead, or "stuffed-and-ready-to-be-mounted-on-somebody's-wall" dead?

Side-of-the-road-but-not-actually-squished dead.

[There's a bit of a pause before Chihiro responds.]

So the present that they like is a bad present...

I guess it all depends on what the bad present is, exactly.

Right, of course.

[Welp. That's not as gross as it could be, he guesses. So, with his good friend Hiei in mind, he answers:]

If they really wanted it for some reason, then I guess if it were me they were asking, I'd just... find the dead skunk, stick it in a bag, and throw it in someone's freezer 'til I could give it to them. It's not exactly my idea of a great present, but hey, if that's what they're into, more power to 'em.

[Notice he said "someone's freezer" and not "my freezer". Hi Kuwabara.]

What if it was, like...jazz music.

But you'd still think it was gross.

I'm not sure how to answer some of those questions, but I think it usually depends on the person and who they are.

I have a friend we'll use as an example. He hates things around his neck. Won't even wear shirts with a tight collar. I'd be a pretty big asshole to give him a tie. He's a smart guy, though, so I'd probably give him something based on his interests. A book on chemistry or something like that.

I'm sure for some people, a textbook would be a bad gift but he'd probably like it. I don't know, I've never thought about giving him anything before.

I hate saying something as cliched as "it's the thought that counts" but it's kind of true. If it's obvious a lot of heart went into it, that still counts for something. Even if the present is lousy.

Jazz music? Do you think that would be a bad present, Alice-san?

[IS JAZZ MUSIC, LIKE, INHERENTLY BAD he just doesn't know.]

Jazz music is super bad.

So do you think textbooks are stupid?

Not really. Just because the subject doesn't interest me doesn't mean it won't interest someone I know. If someone gave me one I'd accept it.

To be honest I've never been in a situation where I could give a person a gift. I've never been given one, either. Not really.

That doesn't make it a bad present though, really...

It's just, um...bad taste in music, right?

Is it because you don't have any friends?

But wouldn't you feel bad giving someone jazz music?

I didn't until recently. A few months before coming here.

It's complicated. It wasn't my choice.

If you're worried about giving the wrong thing, I'd say start out small. It really depends on what a person likes if they'd rather have a book or a radio for instance.

I would, if they didn't like jazz music.

What if you don't like jazz music?

What if your friend is hard to shop for because they don't like anything?

Well...even if I don't like jazz music, I'd still get it for someone if that's what they really wanted as a present, if I could.

Uh, well, yeah. It's a dead skunk. Of course I'd fuckin' think it was gross. What's your point?

It's not anyone's job to do anything. People will decide on their own whether they'll tolerate someone being weird or not - maybe they decide they will, and maybe they'll still think the person is weird, but they deal with it because they like the person even if they're weird. Or maybe they decide they won't tolerate it and that's it.

You're making this really hard for no reason.

So

are we supposed to sing birthday songs on Christmas now?

Huh. I guess I never thought of these questions before, Alice-chi.

I do think it's kind of dumb to not get someone something they want just because you don't like it though. Everyone has different interests and friends respect that, right? For the most part anyway. Besides it feels really cool when you see a friend get all excited over a present they like.

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