nostabbing | Entries tagged with normalcy for dummies

[It's been quite some time since a broadcast from "Alice White's" Gear hit the network; though she commentates on things fairly regularly, it isn't often that she finds herself occupied with an issue of enough importance to warrant putting out an all-points-bulletin to the network at large. But as it turns out, there's a holiday on the horizon and she's got an important message to make about it, and so today you all are getting Alice (aka Parker) sending out a public service announcement courtesy of Gummy-Cam and—

...Holy shit, that's a whole lot of chocolate spread out in front of her on the table she's sitting at while she films.

Hoo, boy, this is gonna be good.]

All right, listen up, people. It's February, and it's the seventh of February, and that means in one week it's gonna be the fourteenth of February, and the fourteenth of February means it's Valentine's Day, and whaaaaaaaat does Valentine's Day mean?

[A beat passes for emphasis, but hopefully no one was planning on chiming in at home with things like "romance" or "togetherness with loved ones", because the real answer comes a moment later as Parker holds up one of her heart-shaped boxes for emphasis.]

Chocolate.

[...Obviously.]

So you better get on it, because there's only a week left until Valentine's Day, and there's a lot of chocolate out there. There's milk chocolate, dark chocolate, raw chocolate, white chocolate which actually isn't really chocolate but people still eat it like chocolate, mint chocolate, orange chocolate, vanilla chocolate, coffee and chocolate, chocolate caramels, chocolate peanuts, chocolate-covered cherries, chocolate-covered strawberries, espresso chocolate which is so good that once you taste it you won't want to stop eating it — that's a lot of chocolate, folks.

[She sets the box back down on the table, fixing the camera with a steely look.]

But. You know what's noooooot chocolate? An obligation. You know what is an obligation?

[And up comes...what appears to be a manila folder with the word "TAXES" scrawled in red across its side.]

Taxes. Taxes, obligation.

[The folder drops, and up comes...a toothbrush.]

Brushing your teeth! Obligation.

[And away goes the toothbrush in favor of a roll of toilet paper.]

Putting out a new roll when you used up the last of the last one. Obligation.

[And at last, that goes away such that the heart-shaped box of chocolate can make a comeback — and what a comeback it makes, as she ends up hugging it the way that one might a stuffed animal.]

Chocolate? Not an obligation. Chocolate is your friend. Your tasty, tasty friend.

[And she looks up from her tasty, tasty friend just long enough to fix the camera with a very serious, unwavering look.]

So give people chocolate because chocolate is great, and not taxes.

[Following a winning smile, she makes a quick across-the-neck cutoff motion at the Pokemon behind the camera, and the feed promptly goes black.]

( Handwritten | Parker's Notes | Not Posted To Network )

~

What do you think makes something a good present? Like a birthday present. You're supposed to give somebody a thing they'd really like, right? And if you don't know what they'd like, you ask them about it and maybe they tell you.

What if they tell you the stuff they like and you don't like it? Because you think it's not a good present or whatever. Does that make it a bad present?

If you're the person being asked what you want for your birthday, are you supposed to not ask for stuff that would make people feel bad about giving it to you?

...Also, why do people give each other presents on Christmas instead of giving them to Jesus? It's not everyone else's birthday on Christmas.

I mean I guess maybe it's some people's but it's not everybody's who gets presents on Christmas.

...And why isn't "Happy Birthday" a Christmas carol, then?

( Pre-Post Narration: Clinton Street Girls Got the World on Their Shoulders )

~

[A few hours after she's woken up and had the chance to get settled in to the Pokemon trainer life again, Parker eventually finds her way back onto the Gear network, opting to send out an anonymous text with a question that's on her mind, more just for the sake of reminding herself how things work around here than anything else.]

Is there a thing about yourself that you never tell other people? I guess it doesn't even have to be a bad thing, but just something that you don't talk about or anything.

I don't want to know what it is. But what made you decide not to tell people? Like are you ashamed of it, or are you trying to forget it ever happened, or did you just not think it was important, or are you protecting people by not telling them?

I guess you could not tell somebody something for a lot of reasons. That's kinda weird.

[It's not altogether unusual for one of Parker's Pokemon to end up featured in a video on the Network, but it seems as though today's broadcast is...slightly unusual. For one thing, these sorts of broadcasts usually come accompanied with Parker herself involved in some way, either alongside the Pokemon in question, or narrating over the top of the recording.

This time, though, the camera angle is relatively low to the ground — meaning that it's probably Gummy in charge of things — and the audio is largely silent, save for the pitter-patter of tiny padded feet on carpet (possibly the Eevees are playing somewhere nearby), and the low, faint growling of —]

[...Well, hello to you too, Nate.

The thing about a Mightyena is that, like this one's namesake, it's really easy to tell when they're upset about something, and it's pretty obvious that Nate is in a Not Particularly Good Mood. When he spots the camera rolling, though, he narrows his eyes slightly, then dips his head below the view of the screen and...

...comes up a minute later with Eeveemaru in tow, of all things. Clad as always in his little white uniform jacket, Eeveemaru at least doesn't appear to be anything more than reasonably bewildered as he dangles by the scruff of his neck from Nate's teeth, but either way the presentation doesn't last long. A minute later, Nate sets him back down again, and turns his hooded gaze back to the camera for another long moment before barking sharply, twice.

And that's...all the Network is getting out of this video today, apparently. Strange!]

[OOC: And with that, Parker knocks out for her canon update — and her Pokemon are Not Precisely Happy About It. Feel free to communicate with them in any way you like, or to action them up if you're in the Dangan House; replies may come from

parkermons, depending!]

Okay, little hup-hup, you ready?

[Thus speaks ~~Parker~~ Alice, who is currently out on the tennis court in the backyard of the Dangan House, as she carries an Eevee over to a marked-off section at one end of the court, just in front of the serving line. With a deliberate point of her hand, the Eevee sits, seemingly obedient, and watches her eagerly as she retreats to the other side of the court and reaches into a waiting cooler.

A second later, her hands reemerge holding a delicious-looking sandwich, which she places on a paper plate and sets down near her feet, lightly slapping her knees as she proceeds to start calling for it.]

Okay. Come on! C'mere! Come get the sandwich! Look, it's a delicious sandwich! Mmm-mmmm, does that look good or what?

[The Eevee, predictably, just kind of looks at her.]

...I said come on. Look, it's a sandwich. You like sandwiches, right? Come on! Sandwich! Get over here!

[The Eevee doesn't move.]

Okay, you know what? Fine. Whatever.

[In a huff, ~~Parker~~ Alice folds her arms and turns her back on the waiting Eevee. But the instant after she does so, something unusual happens — all at once the Eevee springs into action, darting across the tennis court at a somewhat slower speed than is usual for the Horde, taking its time so it doesn't have to use its tiny nails to keep traction as it goes.

When it reaches the net dividing the court, it pauses, tail twitching in anticipation as it gathers its feet beneath it and makes a mighty leap, just barely managing to clear it in a single bound, and with a relatively silent landing that makes it freeze for a second before continuing on, as if waiting to see if the human in its midst has noticed.

Now on the opposite side of the court, the Eevee promptly flattens out, making its approach toward the waiting sandwich by determinedly scootching along on its stomach in a commando crawl to circumvent the problem of the nails entirely.

But then, as it draws close, ~~Parker~~ Alice seems to be alerted by something, and whirls around in what can only be described as an accusatory fashion —

...and by the time she has, the Eevee has flipped itself over onto its back and curled into a painfully adorable mass of fur and belly, its little feet suspended in the air as it wriggles and chirps happily (and seemingly innocently) at her.]

...Awwwww.

[Apparently appeased, ~~Parker~~ Alice turns around again, and as soon as she does the Eevee is back in action, scootching urgently toward the sandwich and grabbing the paper plate in its teeth before sitting up and exploding into a flurry of yips and barks.

At which point, smiling proudly, ~~Parker~~ Alice clicks the timer button on the stopwatch she's been holding and reaches down to scoop up the Eevee for some much deserved-snuggles.]

Good boy! Twenty-six point two seconds!

[Yip yip yip yip, goes the triumphant Eevee, as she sets him down and feeds him a bit of the sandwich before replacing it back in the cooler and clicking the stopwatch timer to clear it.]

Okay, who's next?

[And with that, she walks out of camera view, apparently to go fetch the next candidate for the Super Stealth Sandwich Training Run.]

CHRISTMAS
Gingerbread Icing Peppermints Gumdrops Candy Canes Tree Star Tree Holder Thing Tinsel Lights More Lights More Lights	Santa Hats Elf Hats Reindeer Antlers Cookies Stockings A Chimney Reindeer Food Uplink to NORAD Snow Flurries More Lights Sweaters Presents

Hey, so...do you think Santa will be able to find us all here on Christmas Eve? Maybe we should build a signal for him or something. You know, like up on the rooftops. There could be a landing strip for the reindeer, or maybe like a big Santa-hat spotlight. Or both. Or we could get flares. Do they have flares around here? Maybe we should get flares.

Only eighteen more days until Christmas Eve! YOU BETTER WATCH OUT.

Okay. Yeah, there, hold it steady, just like that.

[Pokemon-savvy viewers tuning in to this video might be able to recognize that it's taking place on Route 38 (just outside of Ecruteak City) just from the background music alone, even before the darkness covering the camera clears to supply video as well as audio — it seems the camera'mon in question has his hands over the lens, and it's going to take some adjusting before things ultimately come into focus. But when the uniform black picture finally recedes, it ultimately reveals ~~Parker~~ Alice in jeans and a black shirt, her hair tied back in a messy ponytail and her backpack just on the edge of view.

And it seems she's been busy, because wherever she is (some open, grassy area on the outskirts of town, it seems), there's a pretty elaborate structure set up in view of the camera: from the looks of things, it's some kind of ridiculously complicated maze. The view is coming from a high enough angle that a complicated mess of twists and turns can be seen, and there are plenty of dead-ends and other such pitfalls built into the design as well. Clearly, some real thought and time was put into this.]

Okay, watch this. It's so cool.

[She heads to the "exit" of the maze and sets down a few crisp, damp leaves of what appears to be fresh green lettuce, arranging them neatly into a little mound. Then, after a moment, she retreats offscreen and returns with an adorable little Buneary snuggled into her arms.]

Ready?

[She holds the Buneary aloft, then picks her way through the maze to the center (stepping over the tangle of walls with indifferent ease) and gently sets him down in the middle room before rapidly bending backwards and cartwheeling nimbly out of view — the walkover being faster than turning and stepping, apparently.]

Okay! Just like we practiced! Ready, set, go!

[For a moment, the Buneary is still, its nose twitching as it looks around curiously and regards its new circumstances. Then, suddenly, it seems to catch the scent of the lettuce and —

AND SUDDENLY A DEAFENING CRACK OF THUNDER ROARS OUT AS LIGHTNING RAINS DOWN FROM THE HEAVENS TO STRIKE THE NEAREST WALL OF THE MAZE

FOLLOWED BY A WRITHING MASS OF VINES GROWING UP FROM EVERY DIRECTION TO OVERTAKE THE RUBBLE

FOLLOWED BY AN ERUPTION OF FLAMES THAT CATCH ON THE VINES AND TURN THE ENTIRE MASS INTO A BLAZING INFERNO

AFTER WHICH BATTERED CHIPS OF CRUSHED ROCK GO FLYING IN EVERY DIRECTION LIKE TINY PROJECTILES OF CERTAIN DOOM

—after which a gentle rain begins to fall in the immediate area, extinguishing the flames and sending up the audible hiss of water turning to vapor as imperturbably, the Buneary hops his way through the smoldering ashes of the wreckage that once was a maze, approaches the lettuce leaves, and begins to chew thoughtfully on them.

From somewhere off-camera, Parker's voice can once again be heard.]

Pretty cool, huh?!

[Can you just hear the 8D in her tone? Because it's there.]

[So as is frequently becoming a habit for Parker these days, this afternoon she's got her Gear out and the camera function working as a means of surreptitiously snapping pictures of things to look at — where "things" is synonymous with "really expensive jewelry because she's standing in a jewelry store in Goldenrod City browsing the wares" — and that's the reason the following brief bout of No-Context Theater makes it onto the Gear Network; evidently, the shopkeeper saw her ~~casing~~ looking at the particularly expensive pieces and decided to come over and make a sales pitch, and Parker opted for just shoving the Gear into her back pocket. She was aiming for the off switch, but in her haste, the record function got bumped instead, and as a result, the whole video is dark but the sound of voices come through reasonably clearly.]

They're very lovely, aren't they? Is there something I can help you with, miss?

...No. Nope, just looking.

Ah, you've been looking at our Shooting Staryu selection. You have excellent taste! That one there with the blue stones would look magnificent on you, you know. Were you hoping to take one home with you today?

[Anyone who truly knew Parker would understand the somewhat uncomfortable reason for the awkward pause here — because presumably she was, albeit not in the way the shopkeeper was presuming — and uh-oh, ohgod, what is she supposed to say here.]

No. Nope, no, just looking today! Just looking.

Well, I hope you'll keep us in mind for a special occasion, then! Our wares make wonderful gifts. I don't suppose you have a birthday coming up?

[There is a long pause.]

Uh, miss? ...Hello?

...Yeah. On Saturday.

Saturday! Well, here, you just come right along here with me and I'll get you one of our cards, and you show it to some handsome young man you know — I'm sure they're beating down your door! — and tell him to come right on down and ask for Felix and we'll have you wearing that piece yet! Just come right alo—

Wait, what? No! What? Hey—

[And somewhere amid the hustle and bustle, the Gear gets bumped again and switches off.]

[OOC: Responses from Parker will come shortly after this post is concluded; she's the pink text, whereas the NPC shopkeeper is orange!]

( Pre-Post Narration: 'Cause Everybody's Living In A Material World )

~

[This afternoon, ~~Parker~~ "Alice" can be found at an outdoor table belonging to one of the cafes in Violet City, an iced tea condensing and forgotten on the tabletop near her as she concentrates on something that, given her level of fixation and focus, appears to be infinitely more interesting than her drink. Assembled in front of her are a set of tiny clippers, a spool of thin jewelry wire, and a few boxes of beads in bright and cheery colors; at the other end of this operation, a finished cell phone strap lies completed while a second, half-finished one takes shape beneath her careful fingers.

Every so often, she snaps a picture with her Gear, almost absently, like she's momentarily forgotten that it's set to upload those for public consumption to the Gear network when she does.

Bead art. It's serious business, apparently?]

[OOC: The reference picture used in this post was originally found here!]

[Who in their right mind would be up at the crack of dawn on this delightful Thursday in July, traipsing down to the Pokemon Center to make a Very Important Withdrawl™ from her PC? Well, possibly nobody in their right mind, but it certainly is Parker. Bright and early (or possibly really, really, really late, depending on when you consider "bedtime" to be a thing), she can be spotted heading out of the Violet City Pokemon Center with a fluffy red and blue egg in tow — and, impressively enough, followed along behind by just about every member of her roster, save for the evil ones and the horses (but she repeats herself).

Coincidentally, shortly thereafter she can also be spotted, still rather impressively — this time, atop some random south-facing shop's structurally sound purple awning: ]

Recording courtesy of GummyCam™

[Whether or not one also hears a bout of muffled yet vaguely melodious chanting that may or may not sound conspicuously like NAAAAAAAAAAAANTS INGONYAMA BAGITHI BABAAAAAAAA as this is occurring is, of course, entirely a matter of speculation.

JESUS CHRIST IT'S ~~A LION~~ AN ARCHEN GET IN THE CAR]

[OOC: As a note, Parker is far enough off-camera here to conceal the fact that her face is still somewhat messed up from her encounter with Blake; if you'd rather avoid your character having to see/deal with that, feel free to use text or voice instead of video or action! Just leave me a quick OOC note and I'll make sure she doesn't utilize video or bring it up in conversation. o/]

[So here's ~~Parker~~ "Alice", for once heralding from a different setting than the sights and sounds of Goldenrod City; given the generally purple background scenery, it's probably a fair bet that she's in Violet. Plus, the fact that she's standing a short distance away from the unmistakable architecture of the Violet Gym only serves to reinforce this fact.

Just as the highly offended look on her face only serves to reinforce the fact that something is decidedly bothering her.]

Okay, so if you want to fly, you need the DVD thingy to teach it to your Pokemon and the badge thingy because...you just do for some reason. But I don't have to teach Switch with the DVD thingy because he was born with it.

[As if on cue, an Aerodactyl cranes its big sinister head down into the frame to photobomb the video and nuzzle against her cheek; clearly delighted by this, she wastes no time in tilting her head and rewarding him with a kiss on the Aerodactyl approximation of the cheek.]

So that means I just need the badge thingy to fly, and you get those from the gym. But I did that and it didn't work.

[Technically, she did it about four times...with four different badges...none of which were technically hers...because all of them were lifted from the badge cases of victorious trainers as they left Falkner's gym...

...

Whoops.]

So what else do you have to do to go flying? 'Cause I — hang on. [Her attention abruptly diverts somewhere offscreen.] HEY! IS IT HATCHING?!

[A beat passes, presumably containing a reply rendered inaudible to the microphone from the distance. And evidently so, because when "Alice" looks back, her eyes are bright and she's alight with sudden enthusiasm.]

Gottagobye.

[And the feed switches off.]

[It's late afternoon, it's eighty-six degrees and sunny, and here on a Goldenrod City park bench sits Parker with her hair pulled back in a ratty braid that dangles forgotten over one shoulder. She's basically commandeered the whole bench at this point, even though she's only occupying one small end of it; the rest remains wholly unusuable because it's covered in all manner of stuff, from Pokemon plushies to coin purses to potted plants to other odds and ends you might find at the prize counter of an arcade (and yes, there's a red-and-white Pokeball tucked away in there, too).

But despite the heaps of stuff (and the Poochyena in a fedora standing guard over it nearby, and the Vulpix with the diamond necklace for a collar sifting through it with interest), Parker doesn't seem particularly happy as she hangs out on the bench, silent but for the sound of the pencil scratching idly over the sketchpad propped against her knees. One word for her demeanor here might be "indifferent"; another few that could probably also fit would be "apathetic", "detached", "listless", or even just plain "bored".

Page by page, she's filling the sketchpad with drawings that, to all appearances, she couldn't care less about. Which might be more accurate a description than one might expect, really; this time, appearances aren't deceiving.

But eventually she sets the sketchpad aside, screws up her face for a ninety-second impromptu theater of Frustration: The Facial Expressions, and then reaches for her Gear to posit a burning question to the network: ]

~
Hey, so.

How do you know when you like stuff?

[...What? IT'S A SERIOUS QUESTION. ಠ_ಠ ]

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