nostabbing: (TEEHEE ⚡ in the mood for pretzels)
Okay, little hup-hup, you ready?

[Thus speaks Parker Alice, who is currently out on the tennis court in the backyard of the Dangan House, as she carries an Eevee over to a marked-off section at one end of the court, just in front of the serving line. With a deliberate point of her hand, the Eevee sits, seemingly obedient, and watches her eagerly as she retreats to the other side of the court and reaches into a waiting cooler.

A second later, her hands reemerge holding a delicious-looking sandwich, which she places on a paper plate and sets down near her feet, lightly slapping her knees as she proceeds to start calling for it.]


Okay. Come on! C'mere! Come get the sandwich! Look, it's a delicious sandwich! Mmm-mmmm, does that look good or what?

[The Eevee, predictably, just kind of looks at her.]

...I said come on. Look, it's a sandwich. You like sandwiches, right? Come on! Sandwich! Get over here!

[The Eevee doesn't move.]

Okay, you know what? Fine. Whatever.

[In a huff, Parker Alice folds her arms and turns her back on the waiting Eevee. But the instant after she does so, something unusual happens — all at once the Eevee springs into action, darting across the tennis court at a somewhat slower speed than is usual for the Horde, taking its time so it doesn't have to use its tiny nails to keep traction as it goes.

When it reaches the net dividing the court, it pauses, tail twitching in anticipation as it gathers its feet beneath it and makes a mighty leap, just barely managing to clear it in a single bound, and with a relatively silent landing that makes it freeze for a second before continuing on, as if waiting to see if the human in its midst has noticed.

Now on the opposite side of the court, the Eevee promptly flattens out, making its approach toward the waiting sandwich by determinedly scootching along on its stomach in a commando crawl to circumvent the problem of the nails entirely.

But then, as it draws close, Parker Alice seems to be alerted by something, and whirls around in what can only be described as an accusatory fashion —

...and by the time she has, the Eevee has flipped itself over onto its back and curled into a painfully adorable mass of fur and belly, its little feet suspended in the air as it wriggles and chirps happily (and seemingly innocently) at her.]


...Awwwww.

[Apparently appeased, Parker Alice turns around again, and as soon as she does the Eevee is back in action, scootching urgently toward the sandwich and grabbing the paper plate in its teeth before sitting up and exploding into a flurry of yips and barks.

At which point, smiling proudly, Parker Alice clicks the timer button on the stopwatch she's been holding and reaches down to scoop up the Eevee for some much deserved-snuggles.]


Good boy! Twenty-six point two seconds!

[Yip yip yip yip, goes the triumphant Eevee, as she sets him down and feeds him a bit of the sandwich before replacing it back in the cooler and clicking the stopwatch timer to clear it.]

Okay, who's next?

[And with that, she walks out of camera view, apparently to go fetch the next candidate for the Super Stealth Sandwich Training Run.]
nostabbing: (LISTLESS ⚡ ain't got no fucks to give)
[It's a legitimately beautiful day in the neighborhood when the video comes on — the skies are partly cloudy but there are streaks of sun in places, and there's no snow on the ground. Rather, a bunch of probably incredibly confused plants have evidently decided that spring has arrived egregiously early this year, and are already starting to bud; the grass around is turning greener with every passing day, and ordinarily Parker would probably approve of that because green is objectively the best color, but today, she's...

Well.

From the looks of things, she's sitting against a tree in black jeans, a T-shirt, and a flannel hoodie over; her hair is long and a veritable mess, because she hasn't bothered to tie it back and she certainly hasn't bothered to brush it lately. And she's not really looking at the camera, despite being the one who intentionally turned it on. There's an equally tired-looking Eevee (one that, strangely, seems to be wearing a little white uniform with red trim) snuggled against her chest, and flanking her on either side are Nate the Mightyena (still in his dapper fedora) and Sophie the Ninetales (still in her diamond necklace collar), snug against her sides as though they're standing guard.

The camera angle is haphazard and sideways — not quite a Myspace angle, but clearly chosen without a whole lot of care for how the picture ultimately comes out.

Probably because it's a good reflection of Parker's mood right now.]


It's sixty-five degrees outside. In January.

[When she speaks, her voice is dull and flat — almost robotic, in the way she's just sort of pushing the words out.]

In January.

[A pause.]

Is the world ending? Maybe the world's ending.

[There's another pause, and this time when she speaks it's under her breath, more to herself than to the camera.]

Yeah. Maybe that's it.

[For a brief time, she doesn't say anything more, and then just when it's starting to look like she's forgotten she's still recording, the camera jiggles as her hand moves, and almost as an afterthought she switches the feed off.]
nostabbing: (LOCH ⚡ you mean it was just a submarine)
Okay. Yeah, there, hold it steady, just like that.


[Pokemon-savvy viewers tuning in to this video might be able to recognize that it's taking place on Route 38 (just outside of Ecruteak City) just from the background music alone, even before the darkness covering the camera clears to supply video as well as audio — it seems the camera'mon in question has his hands over the lens, and it's going to take some adjusting before things ultimately come into focus. But when the uniform black picture finally recedes, it ultimately reveals Parker Alice in jeans and a black shirt, her hair tied back in a messy ponytail and her backpack just on the edge of view.

And it seems she's been busy, because wherever she is (some open, grassy area on the outskirts of town, it seems), there's a pretty elaborate structure set up in view of the camera: from the looks of things, it's some kind of ridiculously complicated maze. The view is coming from a high enough angle that a complicated mess of twists and turns can be seen, and there are plenty of dead-ends and other such pitfalls built into the design as well. Clearly, some real thought and time was put into this.]



Okay, watch this. It's so cool.


[She heads to the "exit" of the maze and sets down a few crisp, damp leaves of what appears to be fresh green lettuce, arranging them neatly into a little mound. Then, after a moment, she retreats offscreen and returns with an adorable little Buneary snuggled into her arms.]


Ready?


[She holds the Buneary aloft, then picks her way through the maze to the center (stepping over the tangle of walls with indifferent ease) and gently sets him down in the middle room before rapidly bending backwards and cartwheeling nimbly out of view — the walkover being faster than turning and stepping, apparently.]


Okay! Just like we practiced! Ready, set, go!


[For a moment, the Buneary is still, its nose twitching as it looks around curiously and regards its new circumstances. Then, suddenly, it seems to catch the scent of the lettuce and —

AND SUDDENLY A DEAFENING CRACK OF THUNDER ROARS OUT AS LIGHTNING RAINS DOWN FROM THE HEAVENS TO STRIKE THE NEAREST WALL OF THE MAZE

FOLLOWED BY A WRITHING MASS OF VINES GROWING UP FROM EVERY DIRECTION TO OVERTAKE THE RUBBLE

FOLLOWED BY AN ERUPTION OF FLAMES THAT CATCH ON THE VINES AND TURN THE ENTIRE MASS INTO A BLAZING INFERNO

AFTER WHICH BATTERED CHIPS OF CRUSHED ROCK GO FLYING IN EVERY DIRECTION LIKE TINY PROJECTILES OF CERTAIN DOOM

—after which a gentle rain begins to fall in the immediate area, extinguishing the flames and sending up the audible hiss of water turning to vapor as imperturbably, the Buneary hops his way through the smoldering ashes of the wreckage that once was a maze, approaches the lettuce leaves, and begins to chew thoughtfully on them.

From somewhere off-camera, Parker's voice can once again be heard.]



Pretty cool, huh?!


[Can you just hear the 8D in her tone? Because it's there.]

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