015 | Goldenrod City | Text / Action;

[nostabbing]

[Handwritten | Parker's Notes| Not Posted To Network]
THINGS I WOULD LIKE FOR MY BIRTHDAY

1. Money
2. Unmarked bills with non-sequential serial numbers
3. Loose diamonds
4. Money
5. Gold bars
6. Gold bars are kind of hard to move, though
7. They're heavy and not easily liquidated, also clunky
8. Money

THINGS ALICE WOULD LIKE FOR HER BIRTHDAY

1. Vege
1. World peace
1. ...Bunnies?????

THINGS NORMAL PEOPLE LIKE FOR THEIR BIRTHDAYS

1. Money
1. No bad guys ruining their lives
2. TV...s
3. Stuff they like
4. ?????

THINGS HARDISON WOULD LIKE FOR HIS BIRTHDAY

1. Video games
2. Robots
3. Stolen cell phones
4. Can you steal the internet?
4. The bank of Iceland
5. Pretzels
6. Doing stuff with me ?

THINGS ELIOT WOULD LIKE FOR HIS BIRTHDAY

1. Cooking
2. People to punch
3. Bad guys to punch
4. Sterling to punch
5. I would like Sterling to punch too

THINGS NATE WOULD LIKE FOR HIS BIRTHDAY

1. Alcohol
1. Alcohol
2. Forgiveness

THINGS SOPHIE WOULD LIKE FOR HER BIRTHDAY

1. Artwork
2. Diamonds
3. Fancy jewelry
4. Clothes
5. Shoes
6. Shoes should have been #1
7. SO MANY SHOES
8. For Nate to stop being so stupid
9. I bet princesses have a lot of cool stuff though

THINGS ISHIMARU WOULD LIKE FOR HIS BIRTHDAY

1. Justice
2. More of those cool bleach pen thingies
3. Red

~

What do you think makes something a good present? Like a birthday present. You're supposed to give somebody a thing they'd really like, right? And if you don't know what they'd like, you ask them about it and maybe they tell you.

What if they tell you the stuff they like and you don't like it? Because you think it's not a good present or whatever. Does that make it a bad present?

If you're the person being asked what you want for your birthday, are you supposed to not ask for stuff that would make people feel bad about giving it to you?

...Also, why do people give each other presents on Christmas instead of giving them to Jesus? It's not everyone else's birthday on Christmas.

I mean I guess maybe it's some people's but it's not everybody's who gets presents on Christmas.

...And why isn't "Happy Birthday" a Christmas carol, then?

Comments

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[scratchitti]

If you don't know them well enough to know what to get them you probably shouldn't bother.

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[nostabbing]

You can know somebody really well and still not know what to get them, though.

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[scratchitti]

Whatever. Give 'em money.

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[nostabbing]

You're not supposed to do that. Money's a boring present.

text;

[scratchitti]

Alright then, feel guilty for getting them a crappy gift then.

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[nostabbing]

Isn't that still better than not getting them anything?

[berkthorn]

[That's an awful lot of questions he is not qualified to answer...]

It wouldn't make it a bad present, but if you really don't want to give them that then I guess I would find something else. Something that both of you can enjoy, maybe together. What kind of thing would make someone feel bad if you asked for it?

If I don't know what someone wants or needs, I usually try to give them something that means something to the both of us. Or even if they don't know what it means, if you can explain it to them, they'll usually appreciate it.

[nostabbing]

Well, like. What if you wanted...potato chips. Because you REALLY like potato chips. Like they're your favorite thing ever, is...potato chips.

But someone doesn't want to get you potato chips because I guess you can get potato chips anywhere? And they're boring and average and everybody eats them.

So then if all you want is potato chips, aren't you making somebody feel bad if you ask for them because they feel like a jerk getting them for you?

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[scratchitti]

Money isn't nothing. You use money for everything.

Look, no one's going to give you good advice because they don't know who the gift is for, and with how many people it looks like are on here they probably don't know you either. You should just give yourself a second and then go with the first thing you think of. If they are actually your friend close enough to you to matter, they'll probably like it no matter what it is.

Stressing out over it will just make you do something stupid. Or put it off until the last minute and end up with crap. Or money.

[berkthorn]

If you really liked potato chips as much as you said, I wouldn't feel bad at all getting you them. I might get you more than I normally would, or get you more kinds, but hey, whatever makes you happy!

[...Potato chips, though...?]

[stitchedupbodyguard]

[....She doesn't know where to begin.]

Uh, I don't think we can give presents to Jesus.

He's not alive.

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[nostabbing]

You said if you don't know somebody well enough then you shouldn't bother. So if you're not bothering, then that means you're getting them nothing, right?

[nostabbing]

...What if potato chips only came in one kind, though.

[nostabbing]

Countries aren't alive but they give presents to each other all the time.

text;

[scratchitti]

I meant if you don't know them well enough you're probably not really friends to start with and shouldn't do something just because you feel obligated to.

[stitchedupbodyguard]

[....]

What?

[nostabbing]

France gave the United States the Statue of Liberty. It was a present.

text;

[nostabbing]

Okay, but what if you know them really well and you're getting them something because you want to, but you still don't know what to get?

What if they don't like anything, but you still want to get them something?

[stitchedupbodyguard]

Huh.


Well, presents are just given all the time. Maybe someone does give presents to jesus.

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[scratchitti]

Everyone likes SOMETHING. I mean if they're your 'friend' in theory they like YOU.

text;

[nostabbing]

You can't give yourself as a present, though.

I mean unless you have one of those big cakes.

[nostabbing]

But we don't sing Happy Birthday on Christmas.

[berkthorn]

Then I can still buy as much as a Dragonite can carry, can't I?

[stitchedupbodyguard]

Do Christmas carols count?

[nostabbing]

I guess some people think it's weird to give somebody that many potato chips.