Voicemail

[nostabbing]

"This is a generic voicemail message. To record a personalized message, please press one and wait for the ton..."

Comments

2/18, in a timely manner. clearly.

[lullabytes]

[ ...Somewhat belatedly for the holiday, Nanami will deposit some chocolates - for which she apparently found some sort of mold tray with buneary shapes - into Alice's account or sends them by flying type or whatnot. It belatedly occurred to her that the girl who liked chocolate might appreciate chocolates, and since she'd gotten those reindeer ears, she should do something nice, too.

There's also a Valentine's card featuring two Aerodactyl flying off into the sunset. Nanami's signature is a little haphazard and childish, but easy to read. ]

2/27; private

[ardent]

Good afternoon, aneki!

[Well, look who it is; he's got the video on as well, because he knows that when people are away, she likes to be able to see them. So video it is, and Ishimaru is managing to continue the trend of actually not looking like he's been hit by a bus and then backed up over again for good measure. He doesn't look relaxed, per se, but then he almost never does; it seems that whatever he's doing lately, it's been doing him some good, at least.]

I should be home in a few days; I think we're leaving either today or tomorrow, and we're going to be using flight because neither of us want to deal with the Ice Path again.

We've been doing all right overall - I've got something to discuss with you, though, so if you could get back to me at some point I would appreciate it.

[nostabbing]

[Brrrrrrring brrrrrring brrrrrrring banana phone.

...

Like, for real, she's eating a banana dipped in what looks like chocolate and peanut butter as she appears on the callback.]

Hi, Ishimaru!

[ardent]

[...diabetes, Parker...]

Oh, good, hello there! Have you been doing all right?

[pipers_son]

[For all that he's rushing to Cherrygrove to meet up with one of his troupe, Joker still has a decent part of his mind on this circus. And since Alice has been namedropped by Ralph.... Guess who's getting a call!]

Hullo, is this the Miss Alice that Ralph knows?

[nostabbing]

What? Uh-huh, that's me. I mean, I'm Alice. Who's this?

[pipers_son]

Oh, good ta know I got the right number! Sometimes still fudge up a bit with these.

I'm Joker, ringleader of the Eve's Garden Circus. Ralph's our strongman and he mentioned that ya were pretty skilled yerself! Definitely thought highly of ya.

[freckledoll]

{ Have a bright and cheery voice with a heavy accent, Parker! }

Hello there! I was told you were a little confused about me~. I am Doll, but m'not a doll.

{ She laughs good-naturedly and continues. }

Anyway, I hear ya got talent too! I'd love ta help you train.

i am so sorry about all of this

[nostabbing]

...What?

[HOW DOES SHE BRITISH ACCENT — oh, wait, okay, she's gotten like...half of what went on there, excellent.]

I don't have talent. I'm an accountant.

3/14

[ardent]

[Since this is Ishimaru's sister we're talking about and both of them are fully aware that honmei gifts effectively mean nothing (since chocolate should never be an obligation), Parker will find a box with...well, with Alice's name on it waiting for her at some point during the day. It's white and plain and thankfully not gift-wrapped, lest Kirigiri come across it at some point; inside...well, there is a small cake, chocolate with white icing, also some good-quality chocolate wrapped up in there for her because Happy White Day, Parker.]

[nostabbing]

[A box!

...

A box with her name on it, even.

......

Okay, well, Alice's name on it but Parker can probably open it and see what it is even though it's apparently for Alice.

...

Maybe it's a bomb.

It could definitely be a bomb.

Sophie got a bomb in a vase of flowers once so it is entirely possible that there could be a bomb in this very tiny little —

...

box that smells like chocolate

Okay so this is either the most devious bomb ever because it's been baited with chocolate, or it isn't a bomb because there's chocolate in it.

Or it's a chocolate bomb, but who would do that. :|a

Does chocolate even explode? Corn explodes but chocolate might not. Because corn will betray you. Just like flour, flour will betray you too and it's not even made of flowers.

Wait.

...

Box.

Chocolate box.

Still smells like chocolate, this box.

And why would there be a bomb inside a oh my god it's a cake

...

.........

AND OFF SHE GOES TO FIND ISHIMARU]

[ardent]

[On today's episode of Things I Know So That You Don't Have To: the Nazis apparently once tried to assassinate Winston Churchill with exploding chocolate. Or, well, explosive devices with a thin layer of chocolate poured over them. Either way, it seems your answer to "who would do that" is "the Nazis," because of course it is.

That said, yes, it is indeed a cake and chocolates and none of it is bombs, and are you just going to be springing up out of nowhere because dear god you tend to do that, don't you.]

3/14

[superordinary]

[ ...Honmei choco, why. While Naegi assumes this is some sort of cultural misunderstanding because Alice is a unique (and weird) individual and also American, he doesn't want to hurt her on the off chance that the honmei he received last month was indeed an expression of her true feelings.

Which is why he's left a box of white chocolate for her to find at some point during the day. Attached is a note saying "I'm sorry, Alice-san, but I'm taken. The chocolate you gave me was really delicious though." ]

[nostabbing]

[Chocolate! Chocolate that is also probably not a bomb since it is from Makoto, as evidenced by the note.

...Which is kind of a weird note, really. Hmmm.

TEXTING TIME.]

Hi, Makoto! Thanks for the chocolate. I haven't eaten it yet but I bet it will be so good.

Why are you sorry?

3/31

[crystalballer]

[So it's no secret that Hagakure's been pretty down in the dumps since his bro Kuwata-chi left Johto, but he's been trying to get himself to feel better the last few days. After a lot of thinking (and panicking now that he realizes how late he is finally getting around to it), he decides to make a Very Important Move.]

Hey Alice-chi, can you come to my room whenever you're back in the house? I've got something I want to ask you.

[nostabbing]

[Oh, a text! Texts are excellent. There's a small part of her that still always expects texts to be from Hardison (old habits die hard), but she's not in any way disappointed when she gets her phone out and sees that it's from Hagakure instead.]

Okay. I'll be there in ten minutes.

[And sure enough, in ten minutes she will in fact turn up, in a big sweatshirt and jeans with her hair tied back in a ratty braid.]

text; 8/14

[superordinary]

[ Alter Ego is so sorry for the poor spelling in the spam email she's sending you, Parker. ]

DON'T READ THIS u will get kissed on the nearest possible wednesday by ur crush. Tomorrow will be the best day ever and u will catch a rare pokemon. HOWEVER IF U DONT FORWARD THIS TO AT LEAST 5 PEOPLE bad luck will rear it's ugly head at u!! THIS IS NOT A JOKE. There are consiquences for ignoring this, u will get chased by 50 beedrills and sprayed by a skuntank!!!!11!

**NOTE** The more people U send this to, the better luck you have!

P.S. I did not make this up, someone sent it to me so I am passing it on!

ENCRYPTED ATTACHMENT: pory-con-invite.txt

breakfast spam

[rarestcandy]

DON'T READ THIS u will get kissed on the nearest possible wednesday by ur crush. Tomorrow will be the best day ever and u will catch a rare pokemon. HOWEVER IF U DONT FORWARD THIS TO AT LEAST 5 PEOPLE bad luck will rear it's ugly head at u!! THIS IS NOT A JOKE. There are consiquences for ignoring this, u will get chased by 50 beedrills and sprayed by a skuntank!!!!11!

**NOTE** The more people U send this to, the better luck you have!

P.S. I did not make this up, someone sent it to me so I am passing it on!

> ENCRYPTED ATTACHMENT: pory-con-invite.txt

8/24

[crystalballer]

[A text from Hagakure comes surprisingly early in the morning for him, considering how late he tends to sleep in. Apparently he wanted to get this out ASAP, so sending it at an unreasonable hour is totally fine, right?

So Parker might end up waking up to this text.]

Hey Parker-chi you should check outside your room.

[What she'll find is a shoe box filled to the brim with chocolate coins, because what's better than chocolate and money put together? But there's some actual money buried in there too-P25000 to be exact.

Hagakure can only hope that makes a great start to her birthday.]

1/2

[nostabbing]

[This is a mysterious box outside her room! And a mysterious message suggesting she look inside it.

(The "Parker-chi" actually gets the beginnings of a smile out of her, but it's one of those cute ones that gets smothered right away via brisk and judicious pursing of the lips as she investigates this.)

It could definitely be a bomb! But it's probably not a bomb.

...

it's chocolate and money

it's chocolate money

THERE IS CHOCOLATE AND MONEY TOGETHER IN THIS BOX AND THAT MAKES THIS BOX PRETTY MUCH LITERALLY THE BEST THING TO HAVE EVER TAKEN QUADRILATERAL SHAPE


...don't mind her just taking a minute to kind of dig in and...literally...inhale...the contents here, um.]

[nostabbing]

IOFS MYU DFASVORIRTE

HOIEW DOID YUOIYU KNOEW

[PARKER STOP GETTING CHOCOLATE ALL OVER THE BUTTONS]

Christmas day; pidgey post

[stitchedupbodyguard]

[Oh look! there's an envelope in the mail.

And it contains about P2500 in it. And a festively themed card.

Merry Christmas, Parker.]

2/14: pidgey post!

[diehardreaper]

[ sometime in the afternoon, Alice's going to receive a small box of six chocolates, a selection of dark, milk and white in the shape of a pokeball and caramel filled with a note attached. ]

Did say I was serious about the sweets, didn't I? Happy Valentine's Day!

-R. Knox

2/14

[crystalballer]

[In the late morning hours, there's a knock on Parker's bedroom door...or wherever in the Dangan House she happens to be staying at the moment.]

H-Hey, it's Hagakure! Nothing's wrong or anything, I just got something for you.

[He sounds a bit on-edge for saying nothing's wrong, but that's just because he's really nervous. About everything.]

[nostabbing]

[It's nervousness she manages to pick up on, at least, because shortly following the knock the door opens up a crack, revealing Parker peeking out with focused interest.]

Hey! ...Are you sure everything's okay?

[She fixes him with a significant look, raising her eyebrows in the universal signal of "if you are being held hostage give me a signal so I know vaguely where the sniper is".

...Because it never hurts to check.]

What's up?